Me and New Friend Barnaby Jones!!

Hello Subjects,

Western media is ABUZZ! My new best friend is Barnaby Jones. He is just so much fun! The last time I encountered Westerners was at boarding school back in Switzerland, but Barnaby is a breath of fresh air!

I sent my envoys to pick up Barnaby from his apartment at 2AM, as I wanted our excursion to be a complete surprise. It was! They blindfolded him and dropped him off in front of my palace, he had absolutely no idea what was going on. Hilarious!

After a hearty laugh, my guards dropped off Barnaby in the guest chamber on the first floor. My pet Rottweilers were so excited to have company for the evening! Barnaby was displeased but JOKE WAS ON BARNABY! He was about to spend an amazing day with the Glorious and Honorable Kim Jong Un, the very best day of Barnaby’s life.

Once morning came, I stood in front of Barnaby and had the blindfold taken off. He was totally and completely surprised by the Formidable Kim Jong Un, he was so shocked! It was hilarious. Then we had breakfast. Barnaby is used to terrible English food, so was very excited to try Kimchi. Delicious!

Afterwards, we went to the newest monument to the glory of my Honorable and Fearsome father, Kim Jong Il. The Rungna People’s Pleasure Ground! Best amusement park in ALL Koreas, so much fun! Look how much fun Barnaby had with me on the rollercoaster. Intense!

ME AND BARNABY JONES HAVING SO MUCH FUN

After I was finished on the Amazing and Stupendous rollercoaster, we left Barnaby to ride it for another hour. He was so excited he passed out when we let him off. Barnaby had the best day with Kim Jong Un ever, and Dear Leader is oh so excited to ‘Chill’ with Barnaby again, as he re-affirmed his love of the Communist, Free, and Fair land of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

You go Barnaby Jones, four for you Barnaby Jones!

Stay subjugated, Imperialist Pigs,

–Dear Juche Kim Jong Un

Greedy Pig American Eats More Than Entire North Korea in One Day

Hello Pig Imperialists,

The Twitter tells Kim Jong Un that the Traitorous Ricky Berrens of the Inferior U.S. Olympic Team is a Glutton! Yes, oh yes he is!

Ricky Berrens is North Korean enemy #74, not as bad as the Mutant Michael Phelps certainly but Still a threat to the Freedom and Democracy of the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea!

Look at this enormous meal! DPRK citizens are fed strict diet of rice every day. The Harlot Mary Poppins said ‘spoon full of sugar makes medicine go down,’ and my Honorable father Kim Jong Il had similar saying. ‘Spoon full of rice keeps North Korean alive for one day’. It is true, North Korea is top country in world for Beautiful Skinny supermodels!

Look at how much food Ricky Berrens eats! So much! He is so fat!

Only Imperialist McDonald’s in Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is in cafeteria of Presidential Palace. Big Mac is the Juche’s favorite sandwich. McRib was legacy of Kim Jong Il but Ignorant Western media ignores one of the Juche’s Greatest Creations!

Farewell Inferior Capitalists,

-Honorable Leader Kim Jong Un, Juche and Supreme Ruler of Korea

Beautiful Monument To Great Founders of DPRK

Hello Imperialists,

Beautiful monument in Tranquil and Pristine mountainous North of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Amazing statue carved from mountain of Honorable and Great Korean Leaders and Founders, Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung. Indestructible!

Mountain is beautiful limestone, and carving used to make floor for Grand and Enormous People’s Palace of the Leaders (my mansion). Such breathtaking floors!

Beautiful Mountain Floors of People’s Palace for the Dear Leader Kim Jong Un

Carving of Mountain only took twenty years and Five Thousand Lives. Five Thousand Brave Korean comrades who do Anything for their Juche. Hail to the Korean people, Hail to the Juche!

One mountain face left to carve for son of Kim Jong Un. Only room for four Honorable Leaders on the indestructible mountain. Only Korean comrades permitted to see the Grand and Gigantic monument, testament to fortitude of Communist Nations. The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is proud of such important achievement.

Imperialist Pigs will never see such grand monuments in inferior Western nations, incapable of Grand and Otherworldly monuments. The people of North Korea rejoice at the site of the ultimate monument to the people’s power! Rejoice!

Monument to Glorious and Handsome North Korean Dear Leaders, So Handsome!!!

Cheers to my Subjects,

-Dear Leader Kim Jong Un

Glorious Blog Honoring Glorious Kim Jong Il

Hello Imperialists,

I am Kim Jong Un, leader of the glorious People’s Democratic Republic of Korea. Imperialists have frequent questions about my heritage as well as my country’s: look no further for information on beautiful People’s Democratic Republic of Korea.

The imperialists spread propaganda and lies about my father. He was a Dear Leader and a Dear Friend. Question my government and you will be questioning why your internet runs so slow.

All about ‘North Korea’ as Imperialist Pigs call the shining People’s Democratic Republic of Korea. Beautiful countryside, happy people, glorious military. Prepare to be awed.

Farewell Imperialists,

Glorious Flag of People’s Democratic Republic of Korea, Image from Despicable Imperialist UN Multimedia Gallery

-Honorable Dear Leader III, Kim Jong Un